THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL
Written by: Gordon Soo Chien Phang
Have you ever wondered when was the last time you kissed your mother and told her you love her? How many times have we offered to help our mother in the kitchen and how many times have we been talking on the phone with friends and turned a deft ear to our father who was just asking for a glass of water?
I bet most of us have not sit down and chat with our parents for a long time. We spent lots of time on our studies, computer games and on the phone but can we spend a little bit of our time for our parents as well?
As children, do we really understand how much our parents have scarified in order to bring us up? How worried are they when we have fallen sick?
Are you asking me why is it so important to treasure the time spent with our parents? The answer is simply because our parent’s love to us is always the greatest love of all. Read on…
15th August 2007.
In the hospital, it was an emergency mode when Cindy was placed in a wheel chair and pushed to the CPU for nose bleeding. The staff nurses were rushing in to help as Cindy was struggling and yelling to go home. “I don’t want to stay in the hospital, mum. I want to go home.”
“We will go home as soon as you recovered, Cindy. I promised,” Hot tears steamed down Mrs. Stanley’s cheeks as she tried to comfort her sick daughter and continued, “Where is the doctor? Why is he not coming yet?”
One of the nurses pulled out some tissues stuffed into Cindy’s nose and said, “Stay calm; the nosebleed is probably not serious, Mrs. Stanley. So don’t worry! And please don’t stuff tissues into her nose anymore. It won’t work!”
Mrs. Stanley wiped off tears with her fingertips and snapped, “I have done all I possibly knew trying to stop it but the bleeding just wouldn’t stop.”
Blood strains were all over Cindy’s cheeks and her nose started to bleed seriously again. Cindy cried and hot tears steamed down her swollen eyes and wet her cheeks, creating a mixture of tears and blood strains all over her face.
She murmured under a pair of quivering lips, “Please help me, mum!”
Mrs. Stanley placed her palm on Cindy’s sweaty palm, brushed back hairs from her temple and uttered, “you are going to be fine, Cindy. Be calm! ”
Cindy tightened her grips and cried as blood kept flowing out of her nostril uncontrollably, “I am scared, mum.”
Mrs. Stanley replied desperately, “God will be with us, Cindy! God be with us.”
The chief nurse stepped in and said, “Ok, Mrs. Stanley, firmly pinch on the soft part of her nose with your fingers and keep the pressure on for a full 10 minutes. And this is what you should do every time she has a nose bleeding. Ok?”
After the chief nurse instructed Mrs. Stanley what to do, she shifted her gaze to the nurses and continued, “Ok, Sheila, go and get Doctor Rodney, now. Go!”
She paused and continued, “You, Julie, go and get the cold compress. Hurried,”
About 15 minutes later, the bleeding was controlled and Cindy was lying on the bed, very weak and pale. Dr. Rodney arrived shortly and examined her.
With a serious look spreads across his face, Dr. Rodney asked, “Ok, What’s her blood pressure, Judy?”
Judy quickly answered, “It’s 90/50.”
After examining Cindy, Dr. Rodney shook his head and said, “Prepare for a blood transfusion, Judy. It’s an A Minus group.”
Without any more time wasted, the nurses were on their way preparing a blood transfusion for Cindy and took out bags of blood from the blood bank that belongs to A Minus group, which was very rare. After the blood transfusion, Mrs. Stanley visited Dr. Rodney in his room, the doctor in charge of Cindy’s sickness, and they were discussing about the condition of Cindy.
Dr. Rodney was reading some reports while Mrs. Stanley started up the conversation by asking, “Dr. Rodney how is the condition of my daughter?”
Dr. Rodney took off his spectacles, looked up at Mrs. Stanley disappointedly and replied, “Ok, Mrs. Stanley, I have gone through some check-up with Cindy and I must confess that I do not see any improvement in her condition. I have explained to you earlier that the stem cells in her bone marrow were malfunctioning, producing an excessive numbers of defective or immature blood cells or low blood cell counts. We have diagnosed it and called it Leukemia.”
Mrs. Stanley snapped in desperately, “I knew that, doctor. You told me that before and you don’t have to repeat that to me again.”
She paused and asked again in amusement, “Well, I think we have filled in the application for bone marrow donation quite some times ago, right?”
Dr. Rodney took out a file from the aluminum cabinet, fumbled over the pages and replied, “About 2 years ago. But until today we still haven’t receive any donor yet. It’s rather difficult to find somebody with the type of bone marrow compatible to your daughter.”
Mrs. Stanley pressed firmly on her throat trying to adjust her tone and replied, “Dr. Rodney, You see… my husband and I had a little saving said about
RM10, 000, when he was still alive and I am thinking maybe we could use the money to get somebody to donate bone marrow to my daughter. And if it is not enough, I can find another job to pay up the extra. What do you think?”
Dr. Rodney gestured with his hand and replied seriously, “It’s not a matter of money, Mrs. Stanley, as I have mentioned earlier, this is a government hospital and we don’t need you to pay so much money for a bone marrow transplant but we do needed somebody whose bone marrow are suitable to your daughter and are willing to donate. You got what I mean?”
Feeling desperate with the answer she received, Mrs. Stanley replied, “But we have been waited for too long and I am afraid Cindy couldn’t wait any longer. You knew her condition, doctor. She is getting weaker each day and those blood transfusions scare her.”
Dr. Rodney tried to calm her with some words of comfort and said, “Don’t worry Mrs. Stanley. We will try our best and will inform you right away as soon as we have the right person walking into the hospital. I promise.”
Mrs. Stanley got up from her seat, slowly walked to the door and asked, “From what you have judge on her condition today, how long do you think she could possibly live?
Dr. Rodney shook his head slowly and replied, “I can’t tell you exactly how long she could live”. A disappointed look spread across Dr. Rodney’s face as he paused to massage the back of his neck where pain started to form and continued in a low tone, “Maybe 3 months or more but.”
Mrs. Stanley raised her hand to stop him from continuing and said politely, “Thank you doctor. That’s enough!”
Dr. Rodney continued anyway and said, “The most important thing to do now is you have to make sure she has enough rest.”
Mrs. Stanley opened the door and before she stepped out of the room, she uttered, “Have mercy on her, doctor and thanks for everything you did for her today.”
20th August 2007
In front of Cindy’s house, grasses that were frosted by the early morning dew were long and were not well taken care off as it had almost covered up a bed of yellow tulips that grew along the walkway leading to Cindy’s cottage. The paint on the wall faded out and it was dark inside the house as if the house had been left vacant for a long time.
Cindy got up from her bed and walked slowly towards the closet. She selected a beautiful dress and took it out of the closet together with the hanger. Cindy walked calmly to the mirror, took out a lipstick from the drawer and started brushing her pale lips.
She paused at the image in the mirror and her once sparkling dark brown eyes were now glimmered with hot tears steaming down her cheeks that gleamed like crystals. She saw nothing but a skinny, pale and lifeless gal brushing cherry red lipstick onto cracking lips in front of that cruel mirror, which always revealed the true image of a person. She was shivering, hurting badly and fallen apart and she couldn’t accept what she saw in the mirror.
She shook her head, turned to her mother and cried, “Mum, tell me frankly, what did the doctor told you the other day...” Cindy paused and her face dropped and continued, “What is the sickness that’s bothering me?”
Mrs. Stanley paused for a long time and decided that even though it was painful; Cindy had the right to know what was happening to her. Hesitated for awhile, Mrs. Stanley broke the unbearable silence and replied in a low voice, “Leukemia, child but your condition is not serious. We are just waiting for someone to donate the same type of bone marrow to you and…”
Mrs. Stanley paused as she was out of words to comfort her lovely daughter and decided to tell a lie to make thing sounds a little easier and said, “Dr. Rodney told me that you are going to get one very soon.”
With her eyes still closed, Cindy forced out a smile full of sadness, bite her upper lips and continued in a sad tone, “Leukemia, huh? Will I die?”
It was a question, Mrs. Stanley was afraid to answer. In fact, it was a question, all human beings were afraid to face and it wasn’t easy dealing with issue concerning with life and death. Mrs. Stanley replied hesitantly, “Well, ah….Trust me honey. I believe you will be alright. ”
“You believe huh?” Tears flew down from Cindy’s lovely sparkling eyes and that make her looked even paler than ever.
Mrs. Stanley walked towards Cindy and embraced her; burying Cindy’s head on her shoulders and wrapping an arm tightly around her waist with the other arm patting her on the back to comfort, “Don’t cry honey, you will live like all other kids do and no matter what happens, you are not going to die, my child!” Her quivering voice was laced with pain and tears that flew down her cheeks were bitter.
Cindy brushed off tears from her mother’s cheeks, tightened her embracement and uttered softly into her mother’s ear, “I love you mum and I always do!”
Mrs. Stanley had prepared for the worst but would like to make full use of the time Cindy had left to make her happy. At least to spend some happy moments together before Leukemia ended her lovely daughter’s life. They did spend some happy moments together and the house that was once cold and silence was filled with laughter again but good times never last long and reality is always cruel.
17th December 2007
Outside the hospital, nurses were waiting anxiously and Cindy was once again sent to the emergency ward as soon as the ambulance arrived. Dr. Rodney was putting wires and poking needles all over her body. The machine believed to be checking her heartbeat was drumming out loud and clear, and that annoyed Cindy.
Cindy was too weak to open her eyes and her nose bleed terribly but she could listen vividly to all the whispers by the nurses and doctor who were attending her. Cindy had a feeling that wasn’t good. “Oh! No. I am not going to die here. What would happen to mum if I die?” She was in a trauma and began to imagine things and yes, really bad things.
She tried to fight back her traumatic imagination and exclaimed to herself “I will be alright, the doctor’s here anyway. I have to go on living for the sake of mum.”
She thought only by exclaiming positively she had a chance to live, at least that was what the teachers had taught her in school to be positive but deep down inside her heart, she knew it wasn’t the case this time because she was spinning. Yes, spinning and spinning like a merry-go-round. “I am falling; I am falling, Help me, Mum!”
Cindy was scared and she felt that she was losing her consciousness gradually and would collapse again anytime. “No, I must not close my eyes and have to keep myself awake! Yes, this is what that had been shown on TV all the time or have I read it from a book or somewhere? Anyway, I will be alright!”
Cindy was getting weaker and her eyes grew dimmer. Blood strains were all over Cindy’s gown and her nose bleed seriously again. She could hear someone shouting, “We will have to stop the bleeding immediately.”
The sound of her heartbeat drummed on the machine was getting softer and her blood pressure dropped. Cindy could feel consciousness slipping away from her slowly and gradually as she tried very hard to fight back and grabbed whatever life that has left for her. Dr. Rodney pummeled her chest with certain devices and it was really hard. Her body bounced up and fell back, bounced up again higher this time and fell back stronger.
Pummeled again and again… and the lights in the operation room were off and the door closed as the curtain fell! The night faded away…
25th December 2007
The weather was getting dark and a couple of brownish-grey squirrels were leaping from trees to trees with some chasing each other playfully and running across the driveway. Christmas song and laughter could be heard from afar and yes, it was Christmas!
In an isolated room at the top floor of the old Shanghai Methodist Hospital, Cindy laid motionlessly, wasting away her life bit by bit in a coma. It was Thursday now and Cindy had been in a coma for more than a week. Dr. Rodney had made himself clear at the beginning that Cindy could not live if she couldn’t regain consciousness in a few more days. She can only be in a coma for about 2 weeks before a brain damage evolve. All that has to be done had been done and now Dr. Rodney said that he could do no more for her except to ease the few days that remained for Cindy.
In a conversation between Dr. Rodney and Mrs. Stanley, did Dr. Rodney say, “You will have to decide whether to keep your daughter on a machine or pull the plug and prepare for the funeral?”
The doctor might not have said such nasty thing. Not on Christmas anyway but even if he did say that, Mrs. Stanley would hasten to agree on either of them and would not believe him at all. She was confident that doctors were not infallible. Anyhow, deep down inside her heart, she knew this one was serious and threatening, for she saw life and health slipping away from her lovely daughter day by day.
Mrs. Stanley, being a Christian did everything she could possibly do to save her daughter’s life and at time, with the advice of certain superstitious friends, she even goes against her own religion and went to visit a medium who had given her some water, believed to be holy water for the amount of RM5, which she believed at last resource to be able to save Cindy’s life.
Cindy was unconscious and she swallowed it as she would swallow everything her mother brought to her. Poor little Cindy! At this critical moment, Mrs. Stanley had nothing to buoy her up or to fight science with except to offer her lovely daughter some holy water she got it for RM5. She found out later that it didn’t work that way and she couldn’t accept the reality and collapsed.
Somehow, Mrs. Stanley never gave up! Sitting on the bed where Cindy laid motionlessly, she prayed quietly and in her mind she asked herself,
”Did not the preacher at the Mission Home say: "Ask, and ye shall receive?" and had she not asked and asked again for the life of her child, her last and only one, at the hands of Him whom she worshipped?”
No, Cindy was not going to die in a coma. What she needed was country air and a place to run about. She had been housed up in this small room too much; the air condition was too cold and the smell of antiseptic was too strong for her, and that was what made her so pinched and thin and weak. She must have air, and she should have it.
“I will discharge you tomorrow and bring you back to our home sweet home, Cindy. I will send Elaine from across the hall to take care of you while I was at work. Then you will be alright! Everything is well planned”
Cindy had closed her eyes, too weak even to listen. So her mother kissed her little thin forehead and tiptoed out of the room.
Mrs. Stanley had so far spurred her faith that if she went out to the night market on Wednesday, she promised to bring Cindy something good for her dinner, a pair of Nike shoes against the time of her going out, and also a Prospeed badminton racket for Christmas that she had been asking for all the time. She never expected things to turn up this way and that her lovely Cindy had to be in a Coma on Christmas.
Anyway, she brought the pair of shoes and the racket home that evening after leaving the hospital and exclaimed to herself. “Cindy would be delight to see all the goodies she dreamed to have when she woke up from the coma”.
On thought of Cindy waking up from the coma, Mrs. Stanley smiled. She was tired for she had not been sleeping well for the past 10 days and before she could open the door to her house, the phone rang.
Her heart dropped instantly and a sudden change of expression printed in her face. Her eyebrows and lips were in parallel lines on her face and a serious look had now replaced the smile she was wearing few seconds ago.
Mrs. Stanley knew instantly, it was a phone call she wasn’t prepared to answer. The time she always feared had finally arrived and she didn’t know it came so soon. As she rushed into the house, her sister, Elaine had answered the phone. Slowly, Elaine covered the receiver with her palm, shifted her gaze to Mrs. Stanley and said in a low tone, “It’s from the hospital.”
Mrs. Stanley walked numbly towards the phone. Elaine slowly passed her the receiver and she grabbed it, held it for a few seconds, exchanged glance with Elaine and lifted up the receiver to her ear and said, “Mrs. Stanley speaking.” She spoke for about a minute and ended up the conversation with, “Goodbye and I will be there on time.”
She put down the receiver to its cradle and walked quietly to the stairway without a word spoken to Elaine. As she was about to place her leg on the first step of the stairway, Elaine asked, “When was it?”
Elaine didn’t have to look deep into her heart to know what the conversation was all about. She knew the time had come and that her sister had to face it.
Mrs. Stanley answered in a low and gravely tones, “Tomorrow morning at 8.00am. We have to bring Cindy’s body back and prepare for the funeral”
Elaine stood there stunned and motionlessly! They were just talking about the issue few days ago and now reality came pouring in when they were least expected and sending chills all over her body. Elaine wasn’t prepare to accept this news and was wondering why bad news always appeared on wonderful evening like this, to spoil it and torn it apart. Wasn’t it Christmas?
Elaine not knowing what to do next but managed to force out a few words to comfort and uttered, “I will go with you, dear.”
The next day was set apart for the funeral. The
Inside the Chapel, a strong gush of wind blew in and one of the candles that were burning in its holder extinguished leaving the other burning and melting alone.
The End
A Note from the Author
After reading my story, how do you guys feel? I would dare to say if the unfortunate tragedy would have happen to any of us, our mother would do the same to protect, to save and to love us until our last breathe remain. Why? It is simply because they are mothers and we as their children are always their treasured lambs. Mother’s love is always the greatest love of all!
We all should ponder over the questions of how much do we really love our parents and how much do we really care about them. The quality of caring and loving the people around us will not only increase the quality of our lives but will also make the world a better place to live in.
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